Pickle In Your Pocket

I was thinking the other day…what if you and your bf/gf were being all sweet and cuddling on the couch or lounging around on a nice summer day in your back yard, pool side with a nice tall margarita and you made the “i got your nose” move to your significant other unaware that that would be the last cutesy move you would ever make in your brief but interesting life. “What the hell are you talking about”, you might ask…and truthfully Im not sure but what i think i was getting at was that what if you were dating a psycho and you just didn’t know it. For instance say you decide to pull the nose move. You innocently reach in and whisper…”I have your nose” while slyly pushing your thumb between your pointer and middle fingers on your right hand as it slowly bobs before your lovers eyes. Then out of there mouth comes a strangely smooth and direct “give it back” Thinking you two are playing you reply “no”, and with those words comes a twisted convulsion over the face of your dear sweet Romeo or Juliet. Again they ask, “Give it back” but this time it is a little strained and you can tell the salty tides of insanity are mixing with the cool clean waters of common sense and reason to create a brackish milky current of uncertainty behind their eyes. Leaning back you say “no” this time questioning yourself on whether or not that was the correct answer at this given moment in time. And out of nowhere comes a blood curdling scream followed by the opening of the gates of hell and the collapsing of the earth upon itself. Before your eyes your sweet Jekyll transforms into Hyde or Beauty into Beast and in a split second they are upon you with the strength of 10 men…or in the womens case 20 because we all no women are freakishly strong when angry. They are clawing at your right hand scratching, biting drooling, and all you can do is try not to laugh and keep moving your out reached hand from left to right as if you really did have something precious in there that you didn’t want them to get a hold of. Screaming you turn on your back and crawl …where? i have no clue. Anywhere to get away from this monkey that is now sitting on your back straddling you and proceeding to choke you out from behind. Finally you give in and turning back to your back you quickly place your hand back on to the face of the beast midway between the eyes and with a final clench you squeeze and release and with your final release and withdrawing of your hand comes the calming of the storm…you are able to exhale as the weight is lifted off your chest…your little boyfriend/ girlfriend gets up and makes his/her way to the mirror. Standing before the mirror he/she checks their nose for a few seconds and then turning reply’s “its a little crooked, you could have at least put it on straight.” ….yeah I was just thinking how much that could ruin a good date.

So Saturday was my cousin India’s wedding… it was a lot of fun. The food was great, the speeches hilarious and the drinks adequate. Unfortunately my girlfriend Tess wasn’t able to come but i guess it worked out ok because i agreed to help park people for the wedding to to the limited amount of space available to the guests for parking. We all know people can’t park themselves and that is is completely necessary for someone to tell them what to do…jk it was actually a pretty sticky situation and it probably was best that we had someone to direct everyone. It was just funny because you know how everyone has to look their best for weddings? Well there were a number of people who had nice shinny 4 -wheel vehicles who preferred not to drive on the dirt…to bad for them that was the only parking that existed up there. Other than the parking i had a huge amount of fun. It is always nice to see two people in love. I wish i had some pictures to post but unfortunately i am a guy and guys don’t take pictures.

“Good morning” ….”shut up”….”sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays….yeah yeah…thats me. I have a horrible case of the Mondays.” However, in all honesty how could you blame me after i have such a great weekend. Friday night was tons of fun. Tess and I met up with a childhood friend of mine and his wife for dinner at a nice little restaurant in Santa Rosa named Italian Affair. It was super good. I had tortellinis and Tess got a Fetticini dish. It was great to see Daniel and his wife. I have known Daniel since he was 6 and i was 4 so needless to say ti has been a while. He just got married about 2 months ago and this was the first time I have seen him since his honey moon. It was also the first time they had gotten to meet Tess. After dinner we made our way over to Rita’s for some Karaoke where Tess sang a few songs for us with her beautiful voice and then we parted ways and made our way to bed. The dinner was nice and it is always great to see Dan and Trina and it was also very reassuring to know that the guy I have know all my life totally approves of the girl a care so much for. I dont need approval from my friends to be happy, but it just makes things so much easier when they see the same great qualities in the person you care about as you do. Can’t wait too see them again.

Well I have been a little frustrated lately with my stock portfolio. I have pretty good stocks but the way the market has been lately has made me second guess myself too often. I will end up selling a stock because it continue to go down and as soon as I do sell it it has a steady rise.I think what I need to do is to just suck it up and look for the long term…I don’t have enough invested to be a day trader so all i am really doing when I buy and sell short term is lose money on my commission payments. I guess the way to go is just buy a stock when it is at a reasonable low and not look at it for a few weeks. Looking at it everyday just seems to cause trouble for me.
Because I was so frustrated I was looking around online and I found this really cool series of books on how to make a good amount of money in the stock market, I think everyone should check it out. Click Here! The Author is Mark McRae and he has put in years of research into his books. If you aren’t so sure about stock trading he also offers free classes online. If I were you I would just check it out, it is never a bad idea to start preparing a steady income for the future.

lol ok so Im sorry to anyone who finds this offensive…..but oh well my story and you don’t have to read it. So the other day…actually a few days ago, right after getting back from Oregon Tess and I were gonna take a shower and the towels we had up were old so we were going to replace them. Tess pulled out two towels…one was white and the other was yellow. As we were getting into the shower I asked Tess which towel is mine and she said the canary yellow one ya queer…actually she didn’t say that but that is what i thought she said. In reality she said the canary yellow one ya peer. But i was shocked…i was like did you just call me a queer? She was then like, “nooooooo…lol why would i say that” I swear she said queer…it turns out though that she said peer because i had just taken a piss..but who calls someone a peer…lol that was definitely the last name to come to my mind…the reason i thought she said queer was because we had just come back from Bandon and everyone one up there is so redneck i just figured she had reverted back to how she used to talk oh well it was funny in the moment

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Soooooooo I had a great Didily darn weekend. Saturday Tess and I went to Napa for her cousin’s birthday. That was a load of fun..i believe tess and I were the only couple who weren’t swing a potato sack (baby). All the babies were cute for the most part except for a few which looked like the big guy from the Goonies…not the fat the kid…the one who lived int he basement with a chain around his ankle….yeah that one . The birthday girl however was absolutely gorgeous. She is gonna be a total heart breaker when she gets older…should be fun to watch. There were presents and cake, food and spit up…what more could you ask for. I also got to meet Aiden which is Tess’s nephew…he was adorable…his birthday is on the 17th…i was told that birthday should be more fun and less frumpy because his parents are pretty fun to hang out with.
Saturday night tess and I went over to my parents house and made them dinner…we made them pan seared ahi tuna with a sesame, honey and soy crust over Basmati rice with salad Caprisi on the side. We also told my parents about our plans to move in together come January…cant wait . Woohoo. Luckily they were both excited about the idea…but who wouldn’t be..Tess is incredible…and they like her…so anyways…
Sunday was spent nesting…not laying in bed but cleaning…i now know what it is like to be a frantic pmsing female…without the gross part. Tess and I cleaned her whole apartment, the dog, the bird cages, the car, went to the store, and took the dog to the dog park…etc. But the apartment now looks incredible so it was well worth the effort…and in all honesty it wasn’t to difficult. It was an easy day and between cleaning projects we were able to relax, eat and enjoy our lazy Sunday.