Pickle In Your Pocket

I just moved with my girlfriend last weekend and we have been spending all this week trying to just organize a little. We were quite amazing in that we pretty much unpacked everything the night we moved, however we still need to decorate. The place is really looking like a home though and I am very excited that we finally have our first place together. We were living together before but the place felt like it was mostly hers. I had just moved in to take over the place of her roommate on the lease who was moving out. However…now we really truly have a place together and I am very excited. We have already started buying nice things for the apartment. Yesterday we went and picked up two book cases that we ordered and I am sure some days soon we will be going to look for area rugs that will look nice in the dinning room and under the coffee table.
Our new place is so much better than our old place. We have a washer dryer in the unit, and a huge garage below us for storage. I am so happy and I couldn’t be more excited about our future.

Competition is a funny thing. It seems like everyone is always trying to out due their neighbor. Whether it is consumer products, sports teams, guys at a bar etc…there always seems to be some type of self promotion going on. I think it is funny that we cant just sit back and realize that we all truly suck. I mean really do we need to make some one else look bad just so we can make ourselves look good? Okay trick question…we know the answer is yes and in all honesty we cannot escape it. We are stuck with the impulses to be better then everything else around us, for the sake of self preservation. Its really messed up how we have intertwined nature and our own creations, i.e products and such. In nature we strive to mate with the most beautiful and most desirable…now we have brought that whole thought process so that we desire to eat the best foods, wear the best clothes, was with the best cleaning products and become way too skinny with the best diet pill. when is it going to end? I say we start a revolt….we destroy all consumer goods, get naked, run around, kill the weak, and fornicate with anything that moves…who is with me?

I was at the gym yesterday and I got to thinking about when I used to take supplements. When I played sports in High School and College I always had trouble gaining weight so I tried to help myself out by taking supplements like protein, Nitric Oxide, Creatine, Glutamine, natural Testosterone enhancers (no not testosterone that is way bad for you), and then fat burners like ripped fuel and Hydroxycut. Now that I don’t take anything other than protein I am actually starting to look better and feel better. Out of all the supplements I took Ripped fuel messed me up the most. That stuff was ridiculous. It had Ephedra in it before Ephedra was banned. They were definitely not themost effective diet pills . I would take it at 8 in the morning have a 5 hour work out ( not kidding), go home eat and try to sleep. However, I would be unable to get to bed until about 2 am because my heart would be racing so much. I would also get severe head aches and I could literally feel my heartbeat in my head…it was some scary sh@t. I just hope I didn’t mess my self up at a young age taking that stuff so that when I get older I will have health problems arise from it…that would not be good.

Have you ever noticed how many things out there talk…I mean really its like we are starved for attention and figure that we can turn your average electronic device into a friend. I was online the other day and they had a Turbo timer for your car that counted down…in 3 languages…Okay so that is a lie..it was only English but still. Do I really need a turbo timer that counts down or talks to me? I probably wont even be in the car when it gets to 10 seconds. They also have clocks and talking watches that announce the time. I mean that is great….if you can’t read a clock. I sure hope it doesn’t announce it every second …could you imagine the increase in murders over something like that… think about it. How about we leave the talking to people and do a better job of teaching our kids to read time. Oh and talking dolls scare the poop out of me… have you ever been in a room when one of those things started talking and it wasn’t even touched …yeah can you say creepy as …? So please my brothers and sisters try to avoid useless stuff like that we already have enough yahoo’s on cell phones who talk way to loud, do really need other non-human obnoxious items out there making noise? In case you are slow the answer is NO! good day Sir. P.S I apologize to those who may be visually impaired and need a talking watch ….but for the rest of you who have those you can rot in hell ….and when I say rot I mean you suck and when I say hell I mean some place that sucks where you are surrounded by talking devices with no hammer to break them with. that is all!

Yes…this is the beginning of something new and the beginning of something great. New because I am bored as hell with nothing to write about lately and Great because there is no alliteration int the title. I could have just as easily come up with random thought Thursday for Tuesday but I didn’t because I care about sparing you one less moment of nonsense today. Today’s topic is one which is very close to my heart and still seems to baffle me to this day. No I am not talking about why fat chicks wear little bikinis….I am talking about The Phantom Poop!!! duh duh . There are actually two types of Phantom poops. The first type is the least mysterious of the two.
The first Phantom poop is what I like to call the crawler. It is the one that is probably the most annoying. Have you ever had that feeling where you really had to go and you stopped everything you were doing to rush to the bathroom only to find out you didn’t really have to go? Now what was a crawler encounter. I call it the crawler because it is almost as if the poop decides to purposely deceive you and crawl back inside…it’s kind of like door bell ditching. It rings the bell, knocks on the door and then runs around the corner of the house. Like I said, super annoying but its much better then having it leave a little surprise on your door step…if you know what I mean.
The second type of phantom poop is probably the one most of us are familiar with. This is what I like to call the David Blaine. ( I hope I don’t get sued). I call it the David Blaine because like David blaine it has the uncanny ability to disappear even though your senses tell you it is still right there in front of you. Let me paint you a picture. You have to drop the kids off at the pool so you stroll, nay saunter into the bathroom. You choose a pleasant magazine and take a seat on your throne. You start to go, you feel it come out and you feel the recoil and splash as it leave you and hits the water. You think you are done and just because you are curious you decide to look down between your two legs to get a small glimpse of your little food baby. You look casually at first but then anxiety slowly starts to build in your chest slightly raising your heart rate to that of an easy jog and you think to your self…where the hell did it go? Frantically you start to search the small bowl but you find nothing. Sad you slink back and mutter to yourself ” but I felt the splash”…Wham!!!! you just got hit by a David Blaine. There are many obvious theories to what happens to the David Blaine but even if you know what happened there is still no denying the disappointment one feels when they look to eye there prize and find nothing but an empty bowl. There are few sadder moments in ones life. In parting I will leave you with some wise words from the famous think Confuse-us…( I did not mean Confucius its a play on words…get it) “Man is dumb…why burn trees when you can burn wood.”

Fire academy is now finished and I am slowly getting back into my normal routine of work and working out. Classes start up again on January 12th but now that academy is done I will have a lot less time spent in class and the stress level will be a lot less. I am only taking three classes and one of those classes is online so I can pretty much do that one whenever I wish. I was also accepted for an internship with a local fire department so I will be doing that as well. Slowly I will be gaining valuable experience and I hope that in the next year or so I will be able to land a job.
It has also been very nice being able to get to the gym again. While in academy I missed about 2 months of working out because I was just too stressed and tired to make it to the gym. Tess recently joined my gym as well and the two of us have been trying to get in there at least 4 days a week. The days we don’t get in the gym we are walking around our neighbor hood or hiking through a local state park. Unfortunately, Tess has Plantar Fasciitis so I have been having to give her little foot rubs after our gym sessions…poor girl . I also got a new car . I got a 2003 Subaru WRX hatchback. I love the car and it is so much fun to drive. The car handles like a champ and is very zippy. Other then that I haven’t been up to to much, just living life.

I have been wanting a new car for a long time now….but I finally got the one I wanted. I just bought a new Subaru Impreza WRX. It is the hatchback version (not the wagon) and it is red. I am having soo much fun driving it and the seats are sooo comfortable. My butt literally sinks into the seats. The car is a 2003 and it was definitely taken care of. It is a great car. . It is my first stick and it is sooo much more fun to drive then an automatic. I tried to put up a pic but unfortunately I have ot fix something on my program ( I just transfered servers) before I can post one.

what is it with girls and rings…I mean seriously. It is almost as if the female species craves them. You give a girl a ring and she fiends over it, similarly in fashion to  I dont know…lets say Gallum, the evil cave dwelling creature from Lord Of The Rings. ” MY precious, I needs it”. I am not trying to say all girls become fiends when presented with engagement rings.  Of course the ring has to be attractive, and not super cheap and all that jazz, but In all reality it is kind of nice to see how happy you can make a girl with something so simple. Of course it is the words and meaning behind the ring which make the girls melt. Most girls love stability and commitment and men are notoriously different in that way, so for a man to pledge there undying devotion to a girl is a huge dedication. I think it is probably one of the single most important times in a girls life, besides the birth of their children. It is the point in their life that they can say I have found someone who will love me unconditionally for who I am. There is no better compliment out there in the world than that.